Loving the Nanny
by Svaler
Summary: Bella makes many mistakes as a nanny, but the love she gets from two Cullen children tells a different story. They want her and she begins to want them too. However, she mustn't forget that these children are not hers. They belong to another man and woman. She's just the nanny.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not my characters**

**A/N:** I shouldn't be writing anything new, really, but this has been in my head for a while now. So here it is.

* * *

**Disaster**

"Tony, what are you doing here?" I asked with wide eyes.

The little boy had a bruise beneath his eyes and dried blood under his nose. He was out of breath and seemed more fragile then he did before.

"I did what you said," he said in his tiny voice. "I told him to step forward, if he dared. And he did."

I had been Tony's nanny for just two weeks now and I adored the boy. Even though many doctors said he had Asperger Syndrome, I still cared for him. I didn't care what those doctors said and neither did I believe in it. He was just a boy like any other.

He had a two year old younger sister, April. Tony was ten and April was eight.

For the past couple of days I had clicked amazingly well with both these kids but now Tony was standing in front of my apartment.

"What happened, Tony? How did you get here?"

"I walked of course. He began hitting me until the teacher had to pull us out of each other."

"Oh, Tony... Does your mom know your here? Or your dad?"

"No, I came to you first."

"But... The distance from your school to here must be two miles."

He looked torn. It's as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or get angry.

"I ran all the way," he croaked. "I did what you told me! I pretended that I wasn't scared of him! I thought you'd be proud of me..."

This little boy that knew me for barely a few days just wanted me to be proud of him.

"Look, I need to call your mom and dad to let them know where you are. They must be so worried, Tony."

I grabbed my coat and quickly put it on and shoved my car keys in my pocket. My phone was already in my hand and I stepped next to Tony and shut the door.

"Let's go," I said and he followed me as I dialled the right number.

The phone went off several times, and finally, somebody picked up.

"Tanya."

"Hi, this is Bella. I've-"

"Sorry, who's this?"

"_Bella_. Swan. Your nanny."

"Oh, you. What is it?"

"Your son Tony ran to my place, some kid at his school pushed him around today. I'm going to bring him to his home now, is that okay?"

"What?" she shrieked. "He ran away from his school? _Edward! EDWARD!_"

"He's okay," I quickly hurried on. "But I wanted to let you know about his whereabouts, so you wouldn't worry, you know?"

"How in gods name does he know where you live? _I _don't know where you live!"

I glanced at Tony. "How did you know where I lived?" I asked him quietly.

"I found the address on your bag the first time you worked for us as our nanny."

"Okay... He says he found the address," I told Mrs. Cullen.

"Just bring him here!" she said, her voice lacing with some anger. Then she hung up.

I put my phone in my pocket, opened the door of the building and let Tony step out first.

"I have a tissue for that blood," I said, pulling out a piece and handing it to him.

He only held it and looked around.

"Where's your car?" he asked.

"The other day I couldn't find a parking space so I parked it around the corner."

I led him the way and he followed quietly behind me.

"See," I said, pointing at the big, black car I owned.

"Bella, you have to take care of me."

"I gave you that tissue, didn't I?"

I tried to remain as nice as I could to this kind child. But from previous experiences, I knew that I quickly attached to children.

So I tried to remain distance. Especially to boys like Tony, that were considered outcast by the _normal _people.

And then there was little April. His sister was so adorable. She loved telling me _everything _about herself. It was strange really, but I didn't care. She told me the date she was born, the time, her blood type, her allergies, the food she loved and the animals she didn't like.

My ears were always listening when she talked to me.

Tony opened the car door and stepped inside. I stared at his blonde hair for a second, then quickly turned to the wheel and started the car.

On occasions I had to change the channel of the radio because Tony didn't like a song.

From the distance I noticed the grand house where Tony lived in. The first time I saw it, I considered it beautiful, and each time I saw it again, it was even more beautiful.

I parked the car near the front door.

"Here we are," I told him quietly. "Let's go inside."

He still held the tissue, without using it.

Together we walked to the door and I rang. Quickly the door opened, revealing a small, blonde girl that ran into my leg and hugged me.

"Nanny Bella!" April called. "Are you staying? I pulled out a tooth, see?"

She showed me a tooth between her two fingers.

"Wow, awesome. Didn't that hurt?"

She shook her head. "No, it went just like that." She began laughing all of a sudden.

"Where's your mom?" I asked, looking inside the house.

"She just left," April said. "She said that she had in important phone call and had to leave instantly."

I scowled a little as Mrs. Cullen had left her eight year old child alone in the house.

"I suppose I can't leave now, can I?" I said with a smile to both of them. "Who wants a pretzel?"

"Me!" April called. "Wait, first I have to pee."

She ran back into the house and Tony was already stepping back into my car. I followed him and started the car.

"Would you mind if I clean your face a little?" I asked carefully to him.

The first time I touched him, he screamed as if in agony, and from that day on, I didn't touch him.

"Yes," he said.

"Okay," I said, starting the car and driving backwards to pull out.

Tony suddenly screamed and opened the door while I was still driving.

Another person was screaming.

And I swore the car hit something.

My head snapped to the front door but it was shut closed. Did April return so quickly?

_Did I hit April?_

"No!" I called. "April! April!"

I hit the brake and pulled up the emergency brake.

When I jumped out of the car, I saw April on the ground, but she wasn't moving and she was bleeding. Tony was kneeled beside his sister.

"Bella?" he asked. "Bella, is she okay?"

"Oh, God," I gasped. "_Dear God!_ Tony, don't worry. She'll be okay. April? Can you hear me, honey?"

I pulled out my phone and dialled 991. With all my might I tried to remain calm.

"Hello! Waldonstreet 101, I need an ambulance. I-I... I hit a child with my car. She's unconscious."

"What is your name, miss?" the lady asked.

"I'm Isabella Swan. Is that ambulance sent?"

"Yes, Miss Swan. Could you check if the girl is breathing?"

Her chest was definitely rising, but too quickly.

"Yes, yes, she is."

"Try and wake her. Calm her down if she wakes."

"Okay, hang on," I muttered. I put the phone on the ground and grabbed April's face. "Hey, can you open your eyes? Are you anywhere hurt? Hey?"

_Dear God, let her be okay._

I quickly grabbed the phone again.

"I'm the nanny. The parents names are Edward Cullen and Tanya Cullen."

I sniffled but I couldn't cry, not in front of Tony.

"Could you please call them?" I croaked.

"Yes, of course I will. Miss Swan, keep trying to wake the girl. What is her name?"

"April. Her brother Tony was with me in the car when it happened. I was driving backwards, but I didn't see her. I didn't expect her there..."

"Alright, Miss Swan. I know this is difficult, but all you can do now is try and wake April. It's important for you to try."

"Yes, yes," I whispered.

Again I put the phone on the ground and shook her a little.

"Please wake up, April."

For the first time I glanced again at Tony. His eyes were on me.

"I am proud of you. I am, Tony. I'm proud of both of you."

Tony smiled a little.

And I heard, finally, the sirens of an ambulance.

They were unimaginably fast, as they had the ambulance parked and running out, taking care of April.

"Are you a relative?"

I looked at the man that asked me. "No, I'm the nanny."

"No relative? Then you're not allowed in the ambulance."

"What?" I asked in horror.

They carried her in the ambulance and I ran to my car, telling Tony to follow me.

So as they drove off, I followed them.

"It's silly, right? That they only allow relatives in the ambulance."

"It's because mom and dad will be angry with you."

I flinched. I wasn't ready yet to think what Mr. and Mrs. Cullen would think of me running over their child with my car.

But time was catching up on me. As the ambulance reached the hospital, I saw another car behind me.

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were following right behind me.

I caught both their eyes through my rear view mirror but quickly looked away.

Quickly I stopped the car and ran to the ambulance that was already carrying out April.

"She's quickly scared," I said to the staff. "And allergic to penicillin. Her blood type is A positive."

"Are you the mother?" a new man asked.

"No, I am the mother. She's just the nanny."

Mrs. Cullen in neat clothes and her hair well done, appeared next to me and watched her daughter with big eyes.

Finally April had opened her eyes and they were searching around her. She saw her mother, but her eyes only stayed still when she looked at me.

I smiled at her and grabbed her hand that she held in front of her toward me, but Tanya pushed all the men so that her hand slipped out of mine as they walked inside the hospital.

"What the hell happened?" Mr. Cullen beside me snapped.

"I don't know... She appeared out of nowhere."

I glanced up and saw his furious eyes. I was almost certain he wanted to strike me, and I couldn't find it in me to even stop him.

His child was just hit by my car.

"It's true," Tony said beside me. "She looked. But there was nobody there."

"Cars have blind spots!" he snapped at me.

His eyes went down to Tony and they widened.

"What happened to you?" His voice was completely changed as he talked to his son.

"A boy fought with me."

Mr Cullen glanced at the tissue still in in son's hands, untouched.

"Let's quickly follow them," he said, holding out his hand, but Tony didn't grab it.

Instead I felt his hand on mine.

I kept my eyes away from Mr. Cullen as I quickly stepped in front of him and ran behind the doctors with Tony on my heels.

Never had I seen Tony touch another person, but now he was touching my hand. He had taken my hand out of his own free will.

We quickly reached them as a doctor was examining April.

"Mrs. Cullen, she has internal bleedings. We have to get in there and find them, now."

She nodded quickly and again April's eyes found mine.

"It's okay, April," I said quickly.

"Don't you dare-"

My eyes snapped to Mrs. Cullen and I saw out of the corner of my eyes the bed with April on it disappear through the doors.

"-to ever talk or look at my children again!"

She was absolutely furious.

Tony still held my hand.

"We don't want you anymore. Leave."

But I couldn't.

Mostly because I had to know if April would be okay and because Tony held my hand.

However, one more glance at Mrs. Cullen told me enough. I had to leave them now.

"Tony, I meant that," I said, prying my hand away from him. His grip was firm. "You said you thought I'd be proud of you and I am proud of you."

I quickly stepped out of the room and ran to my car.

Guilt flooded my body, but I couldn't take back time.

I had to believe she would be okay. If I didn't, this would break me forever.

For hours I remained standing beside my car. I didn't step in and I didn't do much else but have an empty mind.

It was my phone that brought me out of that strange haze. It was going off and when I picked it, I stared at the name which I didn't expect to ever call me again. Not just that, this was the first time he called me.

_Edward Cullen._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: Not my characters._**

**A/N: **I like writing this story. It's less difficult then my other stories.

Thank you for everyone that reviewed. I love them all.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Unexpected**

"Yeah?" I muttered into the phone.

"Miss Swan, where are you? I need to pick you up."

I brought my phone away from my ear and scowled at it. I swore I just heard that voice twice, but the second voice did not come from the phone and sounded rather close.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because..."

I nearly dropped my phone as I understood where the second voice was coming from.

Mr. Cullen stood across the parking space and he was looking at me too.

"Because my daughter is very distressed right now and all she's been saying since the moment you left is _Bella_. _I want Bella_."

As he had been speaking through his phone, I heard his voice twice.

"Oh..."

I slowly stepped toward him and dropped my arm.

Before I could reach him, he had already turned and was leading me the way to April's room.

And dear Lord, was he right. As we reached a corner, I heard a distance voice from a room call my name.

"Bella... I want Bella."

She sounded so disturbed. It broke my heart to hear her like that. And she was alive. She made it through surgery.

Edward had already stepped into her room and I slowly followed him after a few seconds.

When April looked at me, her whole face lit up and she smiled.

"Bella, you came back," she said.

She had a bandage on her head and her clothes had changed into hospital clothes.

"Of course, April," I said, maintaining a normal voice. "When I heard from your dad you needed me, how could I stay away?"

She smiled again, a little weakly. "When you're down and low..." she sang quietly.

"Lower than the floor, and you feel like you ain't got a chance," I joined in softly.

We both smiled at each other, feeling the bond we had formed on the first day we met.

"Don't make a move till you're in the groove," we continued and I stepped forward, taking her hand in mine. "And do the Peter Panda Dance."

We clapped twice. She giggled between this song we sang.

"Just hop three times like a kangaroo."

At this I jumped a little, three times. She was watching me with so much fascination, I found her even more adorable.

"Side step twice just like the crabs do."

I stepped sideways and held up my free hand like a claw, pretending I was a crab.

"Three steps forward, one step back."

There was no place for me to walk forward, but instead I took the step back.

"Quick like a turtle lie on your back."

I bended through me knees in front of April until our eyes had the same eye level.

"Roll like a log till you can't roll no more. Hop up quick like there ain't no floor."

I jumped back up.

"Hold your breath."

We both did.

"And jump to the left."

It was my final jump, just a small one.

"And that's the Peter. I swear that's the Peter. That's the Peter Panda Dance."

One final time she giggled, only it sounded a lot more tired and within seconds, she had fallen asleep.

She always did after I sang her that song.

"Bella," I heard Tony's surprised voice.

"Hey," I said in wide eyes.

"You look tired."

"Oh, yeah." I rubbed my eyes. "It's nothing."

"Miss Swan," Mrs. Cullen's voice snapped from behind me.

I flinched. "Yes?"

"A word."

"Of course, Mrs. Cullen."

I pried my hand loose from April's grip and followed behind not only Mrs. Cullen. Mr. Cullen was walking behind his wife.

I waited for her to think the distance between us and her children was big enough and she turned, almost glaring at me.

"I don't know what you've told my children. It's abnormal for them to like you so much."

I shook my head hard. "Nothing, Mrs. Cullen. You should know that I have tried to keep a distance."

She held up her hand. "I don't want to hear it. _That _is the last you'll see of them."

To hear her say it made it so official.

"It wouldn't be abnormal if they showed the same affection toward you," Mr. Cullen muttered.

"What? Are you saying this is my fault? I have work. You work as well, Edward."

Mr. Cullen shook his head and Mrs. Cullen turned her head from me to her husband, not knowing to whom she should continue screaming.

"One of us should work," Mr. Cullen snapped. "And you were supposed to work part-time. Instead you work nearly six times a week."

"What do you want me to do, Edward?" she snapped as well. "To quit my job? I'm a _lawyer_, Edward. I can't just quit it."

"Then don't get so surprised when our son runs to the nanny after the stronger boys fight with him or think it's abnormal for our daughter to beg for her nanny instead of her parents."

"This is your fault too!"

"Am I supposed to stay home? I'm a parliament. Should I _quit _that?"

In just this minute, I found out more of this man and woman then the past few days.

_She_'s a lawyer and _he_'s a parliament?

"I can't see this working!" she suddenly screamed. "Ever!"

"Lower your voice!" Mr. Cullen snapped. "The kids will hear you."

She turned her body and walked away angrily to the stairs.

Mr. Cullen groaned and tugged at his hair.

"I did not know you're a parliament. You must get extremely busy on some days."

He huffed. "Every day, Miss Swan. Not some days. Of course you wouldn't know anything about it. You're just a kid yourself."

I bit my lip nervously, wondering if he even knew my age. I wasn't a kid.

"Mr. Cullen?" I asked carefully.

"Oh, I know," he snapped, his eyes landing on mine angrily. "I know, Miss Swan, what you are about to say. And I don't want to hear any apology. _You _ran over my daughter with your huge car. She almost died on the table tonight. My wife and I don't want you here. April is asleep now and next time, we'll make sure to tell her that you ran away because you didn't want her."

My mouth opened and I gasped. I was about to shake my head, but stopped myself.

"We'll think of something to make our kids understand that they need to quit caring so much for you. You're just the nanny, in god's name!"

I had to stay strong. I couldn't break down in front of the father of the children I had bonded with so well.

I bit my lip another time to keep the pain at bay.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it."

However, Edward already held up his hand in warning. "Don't. Just leave, Miss Swan. We no longer need your services."

I nodded without looking at him and an involuntary, small "_sorry_"escaped my lips.

It was difficult, walking, breathing, thinking. I could barely do any of those things.

But I had to and eventually I found myself again standing in front of my car.

I decided to leave for home, so I stepped inside my car and started it.

The radio was playing a nice song, but when I turned down my window for some fresh air, I heard a few children giggle somewhere in the background. I tried to drive the car. I tried to drive it backwards, but I couldn't.

What if I did something horrible again?

I couldn't drive this car. I couldn't drive any car, because I was scared.

_How was I going to get home?_

I got out of the car as soon as I could. It felt like a crime, being in that car.

A small drizzle began and I stood in it while I stared ahead of me, away from the hospital. Aside of me, I saw the sun setting slowly, until it completely disappeared and a cloud of darkness surrounded me, making everything more creepy.

It seemed to get even darker and darker.

Sometimes and ambulance would drive away from the hospital or arrive to it.

Tony and April would soon hear, or maybe already heard, that I didn't want them.

A lie.

Mr. Cullen was going to tell them a lie. I hated it, but I was just the nanny. What could I say against their parents?

"-this will work."

"Jesus Christ, I've had enough of all this fighting! Can't you _shut up_?"

"Edward, I've had enough of things too! Do you think I enjoy this life?"

"Hah! You are just amazing, aren't you? Did it occur to you that I'm not exactly having the best time of my life?"

"What is she doing there?" Mrs. Cullen asked.

It was quiet for a while.

"Has she been standing there all this time?" I heard Mr. Cullen's voice.

"Worthless nanny," Mrs. Cullen said. "Running over my daughter and giving my son the dumbest advice. She hurt both of them in just this single day!"

I heard their car locks click and a door open.

"Edward? Get in the car."

"I wish I could, but there's something I need to do first."

"What? Edward! Where are you going? Tell me!"

Maybe I wasn't a good nanny and maybe I wasn't meant to be around children.

God knew the mistakes I'd made today.

I think I was a bad nanny after all. I wasn't supposed to have children around me if I could only give them bad advice or run them over with my car.

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were right.

"Miss Swan, what are you still doing here?"

My head snapped to my side in shock when Mr. Cullen stood beside me.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen! I did, I mean I tried, but it was... I think I'll call a cab."

I nodded to myself as I grabbed my phone but had no idea what number I had to call. And what on earth did I just ramble to Mr. Cullen?

"I'm sorry, I was going to leave. I didn't mean to get between your steps again."

I felt so much like crying.

"Why don't you drive yourself back to your place?" he asked in confusion.

I whispered, "Because I can't. Not after what happened."

I had been able to drive the car to follow the ambulance, but back then I was still in shock and filled with adrenaline. Now all that had left my body and I couldn't drive. Not anymore, not ever.

"I'll drive you home," Mr. Cullen said.

"What?" I snapped in shock. "No! There's no need, really."

"I believe there is," he said dryly.

He pulled out the car keys out of my hand and stepped behind the wheel. I slowly joined him on the other side.

"Once you're on the main road, you have to keep driving straight until the second roundabout. There you go to the left."

It was quiet in the car, not even a song was playing. He made adjustments with the seats and mirrors and then started the car. Mr. Cullen was an excellent driver. He drove very smoothly.

"I'm a bad nanny," I muttered.

"You made a mistake."

I shook my head. "Mistakes like that should never happen."

"I know. So, Miss Swan, tell me about yourself."

"What?" I asked in horror.

"No need to be afraid. I would like to know anything about you which you have to offer."

"Like what?"

I would have assumed he knew everything about me.

"Your first name. Your age. What else you do besides being a nanny?"

"But you know my name is Bella," I said with a scowl.

"I remember reading Isabella, but not Bella."

"Bella is shorter and as soon as I heard the name Bella, I didn't want to be called Isabella anymore."

We reached the first roundabout and he went on straight. "And your age?"

"I was born in July 1990. Which makes me-"

"Twenty-one," Mr. Cullen interrupted.

"Yes. I'm not a kid."

No, why did I say that? How could I say that now?

"What else do you do?" he asked, ignoring my comment.

"I go to school."

"Which one?"

"It's a special school for people who weren't able to finish high school."

The conversation was going to places which I rather avoided.

"Why? Why didn't you finish high school? You're almost twenty-two."

When he drove around the roundabout and went left, I gave him the new directions.

"Why are you still doing high school, Miss Swan?"

"Because," I muttered.

"Very mature," he said sarcastically.

"It's here," I said quickly. "You can stop here. Park it anywhere, I don't care."

He was quick at parking it sideways, pulling out the keys and stepping out.

His phone was in his hand so I didn't disturb him.

"Hubble Berry Street near number twelve." He looked at me as he finished the conversation. "A cab will be here in ten minutes."

I nodded, wondering if it was a kind thing to do to wait with him outside.

He, however, was already walking toward the entrance door.

"What number do you live?" he asked.

I opened the door with the key and went in first.

"Uh... Eighty eight. Second floor."

We both entered the elevator and I began wondering what he was really doing. I thought he was angry with me.

At least I remembered cleaning up, so my house wasn't a mess.

"So you are Isabella _Bella _Swan, you'll be twenty-two in July and for reasons unexplained, you still attend high school."

I looked at him nervously. "I don't like talking about it. Besides, I'm fired, so it doesn't really matter if you know."

"If I know what?"

I sighed and quickly exited the elevator once the doors began opening. I nearly jogged to my front door, but Mr. Cullen could easily keep up. He just had to walk.

"What's the big secret, Miss Swan? Why won't you share?"

"Because there's only one person I'm going to tell that to and that person isn't you!" I said angrily.

Mr. Cullen scowled and I instead shoved the keys in the lock and opened the door.

He entered my house too and shut the door quietly behind him.

"Is there anybody in here? A boyfriend, a husband, a roommate?"

"No, I live alone."

"I can't imagine that..." he said quietly, running his fingers over a drawing a child once made for me.

The drawing nearly said it all.

I stood in the middle with way too much hair that reached my knees. My waist was drawn as slender as my arm and my hands held the hands of two children beside me.

But what said it all, was the scribble"_mom_" above my head. The non existent children were my own.

"Is that an imitation of you, Miss Swan?" he asked, pointing at the drawing.

"Yes, Emily drew me, probably mistaking me for a Barbie."

"Yes, I see. Do you have children? Are those your own?"

"No," I croaked. I quickly changed the subject. "Before, why did you say you can't imagine me living alone?"

"Not you, I meant in general. I have lived together nearly all my life. I dated Tanya when I turned sixteen. We married at seventeen and Tony was born a few months before we both turned eighteen."

Quick math told me... "You're _twenty-seven_?"

He nodded his head. For the first time he smiled. "Why do you ask it like that?"

"Well, I... I wouldn't want to be rude..."

Mr. Cullen crossed his arms and watched me until I had to answer him with the truth.

"I just imagined you to be older, maybe somewhere in your thirties?"

"Somewhere?" he laughed. "Where exactly, Miss Swan?"

"Uh, I don't know?"

_Thirty-nine._

"Thirty-one, or something," I lied.

He nodded his head slowly.

"Wasn't it strange, to be so young when you married? It must have been difficult."

He shrugged. "Tanya and I were in love. That's all we needed to make the marriage work."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Of course I was wrong."

"What do you mean?"

A car outside honked and Mr. Cullen took a step toward the door.

"Love wasn't enough. It faded. Having Tony and April was amazing, but it wasn't what would keep Tanya and I together. Tanya refuses to believe it, but she knows that she and I must divorce someday soon."

I widened my eyes. "Divorce?"

"You're surprised. Why?"

"I just never thought you two would get divorced. I mean... You both seem like a good match."

He shook his head. "We aren't. We only argue and walk away from each other."

"I'm sorry. That must be difficult."

Again he shook his head. "Miss Bella, do you consider everything difficult? That's already twice you've mentioned that an event in my life must have been difficult."

"W-What?" I stuttered in shock. He called me Miss Bella. "I didn't mean it in any bad way, Mr. Cullen."

The car honked again and he walked to the front door and opened it.

"Of course you didn't, but it made me wonder if you've ever lived your life to the fullest or only experienced your wildest dreams inside your head?"

My mouth opened to disagree with him, but no words came out. I realized then that my breathing was hard and my heartbeat was quick.

And his question remained hanging in the air.

He smiled quickly and pointed a finger at me.

"To be continued," he said, stepping out and closing the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: Not my characters._**

**A/N: **Enjoy =)

* * *

**Missing**

I gasped when I saw the clock above my bedroom door. Mr. Cullen left around a minute ago, but when did it turn two a.m. in the morning?

Seeing my bed was enough for me to take of my shoes, jeans and coat and dump them on the ground so that I could throw myself in the bed and finally lie down.

Sleep, however, did not come so easily to me this night. It would have been so easy to drive with my car over a child, so easy. Kids were so small and cars had blind spots. I was quite sure that I wanted to sell that car and drive with the subway for the rest of my life.

It's true that in the end I hit her, instead of driving over her. And she did survive, instead of dying. But it tortured me to know that things could have gone much worse.

It was rather strange when I heard my phone buzz and I reached for it to see I had three text messages.

I opened the first and noticed it was Mrs. Paddy. I watched her three children sometimes in the evenings, when she still had work to do.

_Miss Swan, you must understand I only want nannies whom I can trust with my children. So I'm letting you go. Mrs. Paddy_

No, no! Please, no. They weren't doing this to me. They couldn't.

_Imagine my surprise when I heard what you did last evening to the young April Cullen. I thought you were a reliable, careful nanny, but I was obviously mistaken. Mrs. Spencer._

A tear fell from the side of my eye.

Currently I was the nanny of four families. The first was the Cullen's children, the second Mrs. Paddy and the third Mrs. Spencer.

I just knew that the last text message belonged to Mr. Crowley. His wife died last year and I cared for his two daughters on days when he had therapy or had a difficult day.

_Miss Swan, the Greatest Nannies service told me you've been fired from their company, so I guess I'll search for new nanny. Mr. Crowley_

This message told me more then the previous ones.

I wasn't just fired from the Cullen's, but my work had fired me as well. I was no longer a nanny.

With no job, how could I earn money? Did I really have to apply for a job at the McDonalds?

Maybe I deserved this for what I did to poor April. I just hoped she wasn't in any pain. She didn't deserve any pain.

That night, my night was void of any dreams. I was pulled into a black hole which didn't provide me any rest at all.

As I sat between the adolescent students that had just like me reasons for still attending high school, all I could concentrate on was little April and Tony, whom I would never see again. My mind could not seem to care for the material my teacher was explaining.

I too had been captured by those two children, but I knew that I had to let them go.

Out of sight, out of mind, they say.

But I knew that wasn't always true. Even now it hurt to think about mom and dad. They were out of sight, but many times in my mind, so did I truly believe that saying? Or was it a matter of putting effort into _believing_ so that that way, I would have to believe it?

My years had passed quickly. One moment I was fourteen, enjoying my life like any other teenager, but every year life threw something in my direction which smashed me right into the ground, and as I grew older, I didn't really grow up. I remained a teenager, even though I was reaching twenty-two.

There were many reasons why I decided being a nanny. It happened when I had passed the age of nineteen and I knew that I needed the laughter of children around me, their silly fears and fascinating imagination. I needed it to stay alive.

I needed something to hold on to. And I still did.

Only now that job was taken from me. For now, I wasn't allowed to be a nanny. Maybe later, when I finished high school and went to college or maybe university, I could choose a study that would involve children. But quite honestly, I was too scared to pick. I liked this comfort zone, because high school was simply a school where you had to graduate from and then go and pick a school where you would study the education that would become your job.

Graduating from high school was simply graduating from high school.

Some would mock me, because of my age, but I wasn't ready yet to get into the big, wide world. To face it on my own.

And that was true. I was alone. And I didn't ever see myself with a boy, because of all the baggage I had.

I carried a truckload of baggage and I sometimes wasn't really sure how to continue life.

There was one thing that was constant though and that was my job - my job as a Nanny - which now had been taken from me.

I skipped my last two classes. Today I wasn't becoming any wiser and these schools didn't really care much about your whereabouts. You paid money and you decided whether you attend school or not.

My fear wasn't really that I flunked high school and had to follow my classes another year. School was always nicer then actual work, so why not stay in school as long as possible? My mom always told me school is very important and dad always said to stay in it as long as I could, because once I landed on the working field, I would wish to be back in school.

It was a one mile walk and that's what I'd done, walking to school. My car was still in the same spot Mr. Cullen parked it last night.

I stared at it for a second when I made it home and made my final decision.

With my hand fumbling around in my bag, I tore out a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote down:

_Car for Sale._

_$1100_

_More info: 0345688911_

I put it inside the car in front of the glass where everyone would see and shut the door.

Maybe it was time to go looking for another job. It was time to accept the fact I was no longer a nanny. Nobody wanted me as their nanny.

I guess _I_ wouldn't want me as my nanny.

I hated I had to go looking for a job. It would be a new place to be at, a new manager, new people to meet.

Well, McDonalds it would have to be. They always needed new people.

It wasn't a long walk and it was another busy day, filled with people wanting a burger and fries.

"Hi?" I asked a boy around twenty years old. "Is your boss employing new people?"

"Yeah, do you want an application form?"

"Yes, please."

He disappeared through a door and I looked around, wondering what it would be to work here, baking burgers and serving people their special orders.

It was probably bound to be a disaster. I would burn the burgers and forget what the customers looked like, which would lead to a several minutes long search to my customer who had ordered something special.

"Here you go. You can fill it in here or you can bring it with you later."

"I'll just fill it now, thank you."

I grabbed a pen and began filling in the form. The boy left and I read the questions slowly and answered them.

It's when I reached halfway, when my phone began to buzz.

My phone didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I asked, still writing.

"Hello, this is Forks Elementary School, you're speaking with Mrs. Jackson. Is this Bella Swan?"

"Yes."

"I've been given this number to call in case of emergencies and I don't want you to get scared, but Tony Cullen is missing."

I nearly dropped my phone.

"We wanted to ask if you know where he'd possible could have gone to? We've been searching the entire school area, but when this afternoon he went to the loo, he didn't return."

"No... I'm... Look, I'm not the mother of Tony. I'm-"

_-just the nanny._

"Mrs. Swan-" I didn't bother correcting her, "-this number is given to me by Tony. He's been coming her often for a call to either his mom or dad, but two weeks ago he gave me this number and told me to call this one first. I did also call the mother and father, of course, but now I'm also calling the person that he personally handed me this number off. We need your help, Miss Swan. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen are already driving over here, but we already told them that he isn't here. He's left the school building."

Again.

_Oh God, oh God. Tony, what are you doing?_

"Maybe he got in a fight," I quickly said, grabbing the application form and crushing it in my bag along with the pen. "Maybe he's hiding somewhere?"

Maybe he ran to my apartment again and thinks I'm not opening the door!

"Please call me when you find him," I quickly said. "I'm going to see if he's maybe at my apartment."

I was wearing sneakers so today my stamina was going to get tested.

As I ran out of the McDonalds I ran over the streets and rounded the corners. My breathing quickly turned quicker and I felt my heartbeat near my chest.

I really needed to start sporting soon. This stamina wasn't worth a dime. Panting hard I reached the front door and opened it, taking the many stairs to beat the elevator.

From the far distance, I saw nothing, not one person. Tony wasn't there. But still I ran until I reached my front door and opened it, crazily thinking he may be inside.

"Tony? Is anybody here? Hello?"

Of course not.

I felt silly for thinking he may have run here. If he hadn't, then I had no clue where he could be.

Why did he run away? Tony, why!

Oh, man, another person was calling me.

"What?" I snapped a little angrily.

I was angry, because a boy was missing. And I was of no use in finding him.

But no matter what, I wouldn't stop looking. I was already running back to the stairs.

"Miss Swan, is that you?"

_Dear God._

Mr. Cullen called me. And I snapped at him.

"Yes," I panted. "Wait, it's a bad connection here. Wait."

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping myself and flew to the door.

The fresh air smelled amazing and it burned my throat, because of the quick gasps I was taking.

I really needed to start swimming or jogging.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Yes, hi. I need to pick you up."

"Again?"

I widened my eyes as I actually said that. I gripped my hair in frustration and felt hopeless.

Where could Tony have gone to?

"I'm being so rude! I'm so sorry, it's just that I have no idea where he is. I don't know where he could have gone to."

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Cullen asked calmly.

Something in his tone suggested he actually know. He was only making me more frustrated.

"Tony... I don't know where he went. I was so stupid to think he would have run to me. It's only because yesterday he did the same thing, so I thought, maybe he did the same thing today. Mr. Cullen. I'm so sorry! Where could he be?"

"He's with me."

I dropped my phone.

I had no idea what happened, but it fell from my hand and clattered on the stone ground, unimaginably not even breaking.

"You rotten piece of object!" I said as I bended and picked it back up. The connection had broken.

If only he didn't think I hung up on him on purpose.

My phone flashed nearly as soon as I thought that with Mr. Cullen's name flashing on the screen.

As I pressed the green button, I talked.

"My phone fell. I didn't hang up on you. Honestly."

"Where are you?" he asked instead.

"I'm home. Are you absolutely positive Tony is with you? His school called me and they said he's missing and it had me so worried."

I gasped for air and realized how tired I really was from the fast run and the nerves.

And Mr. Cullen wasn't talking to me anymore.

"Hello?" I muttered, wondering of the connection was broken.

"Bella?"

"Tony!" I shrieked. I couldn't believe Mr. Cullen let me speak to his son. "Where were you? Tony, are you okay? Did something happen?"

He's ten. I had to remind myself to not show him my worry. I always hated seeing my mom worried, so I mustn't let him show mine.

"The boys were saying that they were going to kill me. I couldn't stay there."

"Oh, Tony..."

My voice was a sigh. I hated bullies. I couldn't stand them for thinking they thought they meant the world and scaring younger kids like that.

"But don't you see?" I asked.

"What?" he asked with interest.

"That they're lying."

"They are?"

"Of course," I whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Bella, will you come to my birthday?"

I remained silent for a moment. "No, I can't..."

"But you don't even know when!"

_I know._

Didn't Mr. Cullen tell him that I didn't ever want to see him again? He said he would.

But Tony was asking me to join his party.

As weak as I was, my eyes stung with tears as they slowly dropped, rolling down easily over my cheeks.

"Tony, I'm sorry, I can't."

A car honked several times. I recognized it quickly and two passengers were in it.

Mr. Cullen and Tony.

As the car stopped in front of me, Tony's face was out of my view. I could only see Mr. Cullen from here and I quickly wiped away my tears and shut my eyes tightly to stop the stinging.

"Bella!" Tony said happily as he has stepped out and walked to me.

He stopped in front of me and looked.

"Are you crying?"

"No, no," I quickly said. "I..."

Mr. Cullen stepped out of the car too and where Tony had to look up to see me, Mr. Cullen had to look down.

"I'm not, Tony," I quickly said.

"Bella, will you please come to my birthday?"

Oh, man, he was saying please. His big puppy eyes were pleading and I didn't want to break his heart, but I knew what Mr. Cullen thought of me.

"I really can't, Tony."

"Why not?"

I turned my wide eyes to Mr. Cullen. "Sorry?" I croaked.

"I asked, why not?" Mr. Cullen said.

Indeed he did. And all I could think was...

_Are you for real?_

"Well, I uh, I'm not..."

Was he playing with me? Because I didn't know what exactly he expected me to say.

"You are welcome," he said slowly, "to join his birthday party."

"She knows that," Tony said matter-of-factly.

Mr. Cullen smiled at him and glanced at me.

"Tony, I left my wallet in the car, could you get it?"

"You can get it yourself."

"Go get it."

"No!"

"Tony!"

He ran back to the passenger's side and Mr. Cullen instantly began talking.

"Last night I talked with anger. When I was in that cab, I realized I never did tell you that I didn't mean what I said, about telling the children that you didn't want to see them again. Tony told me to undo your firing."

I heard the car door shut and Tony's steps come closer.

"And I did," Mr. Cullen said. "So in my children's eyes you're still their nanny."

"Here." Tony shoved the wallet into his dad's stomach.

"Thank you," he replied.

He looked at me expectantly and I shifted my eyes away from him to Tony nervously.

Did he want me to say to Tony I didn't want to see him again, ever?

Did he just say to me that I was still their nanny?

Or was it something else entirely?

"I don't understand," I eventually said. "Are you... like... giving me some... _hidden _message?"

Mr. Cullen scowled momentarily, but then quickly shook his head with a smile.

"Miss. Bella, will you accept my apology?"

"Why? I mean, which one?"

Why was I embarrassing myself so?

"I'm sorry?" I muttered confusedly.

I wasn't sure if I'd even heard him right.

And I meant to ask him what he precisely was telling me.

Tony was looking silently up at us both and I shifted my eyes to him instead.

From next to me, Mr. Cullen said, "I'm saying that I'd very much like you to join Tony's party. It's his and he can invite whom he wants."

"Will you come too?" Tony asked quickly, looking at me again with those hopeful eyes.

"Yes," Mr. Cullen said instead.

I watched him, wondering if he wanted me to say something now? Was this some act? And was I supposed to act along?

_And pretend I didn't want Tony and April anymore?_

"I don't... Tony, I... can't... be... your..."

My voice was breaking when suddenly Mr. Cullen opened the door of the backseat and motioned for Tony to step in. He jumped inside and quickly asked me;

"You will be there, won't you? My birthday is next week."

Mr. Cullen shut the door in his face and turned back to me.

"Oh, God, I did it wrong, didn't I?" I said nervously.

"Miss Swan, I know what I said last night, but not once was I able to take away my children's only source of happiness. I couldn't tell them you left them. And even though last evening you hit my child with your car, it didn't leave you unharmed."

He watched me with a scowl.

"My words hurt you too, and I cannot imagine how much you'll be hurt if I put my words into action. If I did tell my children that lie, I would be taking your happiness away as well."

"But you still want me gone?" I guessed slowly, my chest ripping open and pulling out my heart.

"No, you silly goose!"

"_What_?" I asked in shock. He called me a goose.

_A silly one._

He quickly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Miss Swan. That was not to offend you. But you keep saying the most unimaginable things!"

"What am I supposed to say then?" I asked desperately.

_Tell me! What? What?_

His eyes seemed to soften a little as he stepped closer and put his hand on the door handle of the passengers seat.

"Say yes when I ask you to join Tony and me for an early dinner this afternoon."

He opened the door and stood by it while he watched me.

"But I don't understand..." I mumbled, looking at Tony. He sat patiently in his seat. "I'm not even an official nanny anymore. The company fired me."

Mr. Cullen seemed shocked. Then a form of realization fell on his features. He put his hand up toward the seat and I slowly stepped forward to sit into the black Mercedes-Benz. Once inside, I noticed the ceiling of the car was made out of glass or something.

I could see the sky.

"Bella, will you come extra early so you can help with the decorations?"

"Sure," I croaked.

I wasn't sure if I was truly allowed. But something was slowly melting away inside of me. I think I believed Mr. Cullen, but I knew that I wasn't allowed to be sure just yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: Not my characters._**

**A/N: **A bit of a delay because of work. Enjoy!

* * *

**Full time**

When he stepped inside, he drove us to the McDonalds where I had been just a while ago.

"I'll look for a place to sit," I said, wanting to be alone for a second, but Tony wasn't giving me that.

"Me too!"

I froze when again he put his hand on mine. He barely every touched someone.

"Of course," I told him, but he didn't look at me.

When I looked at Mr. Cullen, I saw his eyes were on our joined hands.

"What would you like?" he asked, looking at Tony.

"Happy Meal."

"Of course," Mr. Cullen said as Tony had sounded so serious. "And you?" He glanced at me.

"Same."

"Of course," he said with a laugh. My tone matched very much to the one Tony's did.

Tony and I began walking through filled tables as we found an empty one.

"Bella, I'm glad you're still our nanny."

I smiled at him. "Me too. How's April?"

"She's good. She wants to see you too. Visiting's hour is at six thirty. Will you come?"

"If your dad agrees," I said softly.

He jumped out of his seat and ran to the line of waiting people and searched for his dad. I noticed him behind a woman, who was now giving her order.

Tony talked to him from a two foot distance and Mr. Cullen glanced my way as Tony pointed.

He held up his thumb. Mr. Cullen held up his thumb.

_He's holding up his thumb._

And Tony, he was running back to me and sat down next to me.

"He said he wants you to come too."

Mr. Cullen was now giving his order and quickly paid and waited.

"Alright," I said. "What happened before? How did your dad know where you were?"

"I was walking from school to you," he said in again his serious voice. "And he saw me when I was half way there. Then he called you and we drove to your home."

He had been going to my place. I had been on his mind, after all.

Mr. Cullen suddenly put two trays in front of us and sat on the opposite side.

I couldn't talk. Tony had been walking to my house. I was right after all.

He grabbed his Happy Meal and opened the box.

"Aren't you hungry?" Tony asked when he had taken a bite.

"Yeah," I said quickly, grabbing my box too. "Is it good?"

He nodded when he took a second bite.

"Enough sauce?"

He nodded again.

"Enough salt?"

He nodded but smiled a little.

"How's the coke? It's not watery, is it?"

I knew how he loved when I asked silly questions.

Tony took a sip from the coke and shook his head.

It had been actually my way of making him eat. He was such a difficult eater sometimes and if I didn't join him and didn't ask questions, I was scared he wouldn't eat a thing and he was already so small and skinny.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

I opened up my burger too and glanced at Mr. Cullen. His eyes were down on the table, looking at it with a scowl.

"Is this a cow?"

"Yep."

"Did they kill the cow?"

I glanced at his burger and shook my head. "No, I think that one is still alive." I pointed at my burger. "Mine is dead for sure."

"What about mine?" Mr. Cullen suddenly asked. "Is mine dead?"

I watched him carefully, and then glanced at his Big Mac.

Tony began laughing.

"Yours is alive!" he said.

"Really?" Mr. Cullen asked, looking at his son.

Tony nodded.

For a moment we ate in silence, when I pulled out my application form from the McDonald's and put it in front of Mr. Cullen.

He watched the application, which I had only filled in half, due to the interruption before.

"What's this?" he asked, watching me.

I shrugged. "Well, I was just wondering if I'm going to need to fill in that form completely and maybe work here or... If I'm... I was here, filling that in, when Tony's school called me and I went back to my apartment, guessing maybe Tony... would be there."

"It seemed like you were having trouble breathing when I called you," Mr. Cullen said with sharp eyes.

"Yeah, I ran..."

"Up the stairs, you mean?"

"That too, but I ran from this McDonalds to my apartment."

"Why didn't you take your car?"

"I left it home."

"Why?"

I sighed. "Because I felt like walking this morning and evening," I muttered.

Did he not understand that I couldn't ever drive that car again?

He grabbed the form and tore it twice. "There. You won't have time for a second job, Miss Swan. I expect you to use this second chance wisely."

I watched the ripped up paper.

"But I need the other families as well, because being just your nanny won't bring enough money for my school. So I'll need a second yob."

It was true. I needed to work at least twenty hours a week if I wanted to raise enough money.

"How much?" he asked. "How much do you earn with your nanny job?"

I thought for a second. "Around two to four hundred dollars."

"A week?"

"A month," I muttered uncomfortably. "Hey, Tony, I think the fries don't have enough salt."

He took his first fry. I noticed he had been sitting quite quiet for a while now. When I was young, I never liked hearing mom and dad talk about things I didn't understand. Tony didn't have to go through that too.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll ask for salt."

I widened my eyes. If he left, I'd be alone with Mr. Cullen.

"There's no need!"

"While you're at it," Mr. Cullen said, handing him a ten dollar bill, "buy us some ice cream."

Tony took the money and left. With this new order, Tony would be away for even longer.

"How many hours do you work for those two to four hundred dollars?"

"Between ten and twenty hours a week," I said in a small voice.

And I needed the twenty hours, but being a nanny usually came with irregular working times.

"How much are we paying you... Miss Swan?"

I scowled, wondering if he was serious. "It goes through the company. You pay the company and not me directly."

"How much did we pay that company?" Mr. Cullen asked slowly.

I sighed. "Seven dollars per hour."

"And is that your hourly wage?"

"No." I shook my head. "I get five dollars per hour. Why are you asking me?"

He drank his coke. Then he smiled.

"Because I didn't know. Since your not working for that company anymore, I'll hire you personally. I'm going to need some time to think about the hourly wage and how many hours I'll need you."

Finally Tony was done and grabbed the tray.

"What about Mrs. Cullen?"

"What about her?"

"Well, doesn't she get a saying in this? What if she doesn't agree with you?"

Tony walked toward us with the three ice creams and I quickly took the tray from him and put it on the table.

When Mr. Cullen didn't answer, I looked at him. He was only looking at me strangely.

I decided to bring my attention back to Tony.

"Mars?" I asked him knowingly.

"Yes," he said.

We had already tried to new McFlurry once and loved it.

"Mars?" Mr. Cullen asked.

"Yes, it's the new flavour," Tony said.

"How did Bella know you bought Mars?" he asked, looking at Tony.

The first time he called me Bella, and he didn't even say it directly to me. It was strange to hear him say my name, and only my name, without the _Miss_.

"Last week she bought April and me this one. We liked it."

He finished his fries and Mr. Cullen took a careful spoonful from his ice cream.

"And the first time we met her, she cooked us pancakes."

I was scooping around my ice cream and ate a first spoonful.

The chocolate pieces were delicious.

"Do you want babies, Bella?"

I shut my eyes and swallowed the ice cream with difficulty. "Yes, I do."

"Then why don't you have them?"

Mr. Cullen didn't even bother asking his son to quit asking these questions. This was his way of getting some answers.

I knew this by the look in his eyes when our eyes locked.

"Well, first a nice boy will have to ask me out and maybe ask me to marry him and then I'll..."

_Then I'll have babies._

"When will you meet him?" Tony asked. I sighed in relief. The painful matter of the subject was leaving.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said jokily.

"Why not today? Then you can make babies tonight."

I chocked on the ice cream and glanced at Tony in shock.

His eyes were on the ice cream as he ate in utter concentration.

When I glanced at Mr. Cullen, he only seemed amused.

"Can I meet your babies when you have them?" Tony asked.

He looked up and I slowly nodded at him.

"You will be the very first to meet them, if I have babies," I said.

Now please, enough with the baby talk. I couldn't take much more.

He smiled and put his attention back on the ice cream.

This baby talk was too painful to talk about, but I couldn't show Tony that.

However, it seemed like Mr. Cullen _had _noticed.

"What will you call them?" Tony suddenly continued.

"Tony, I saw a big bird flying over there." He pointed at the window into the sky. It was completely empty, but Tony's attention was now on the window, searching frantically.

Mr. Cullen watched me with sympathy and I shifted my eyes to the ice cream with an angry scowl.

"Are you truly twenty-one?"

"Yes," I stuttered.

This was another matter I hated to talk about. No wonder I didn't have any friends. There wasn't much for me to talk about with them.

"But I was prematurely born."

Mr. Cullen smiled in a strange way.

"I was due for September thirty-one."

"But you decided to get out in July the...?"

"Twentieth."

"That must explain your height."

I watched him for a second, but then broke into a smile.

"Yeah," I said. "Cursed with this short height. Soon you'll be putting your elbow on my shoulder, Tony. You'll be as tall as your dad."

"Cool," he said, looking up from his ice cream. "Do you have a brother or sister?"

"No, I don't," I said quietly. He was asking me too many questions today. Too many and too personal.

"Where are your mom and dad?"

I looked nervously at Mr. Cullen and he smiled. It was almost as if he knew the truth, yet somehow, he couldn't know.

At this point I was perhaps a bad nanny, because was I supposed to tell him the truth or not?

"My grandma and grandpa live close to us. Do your mom and dad live close to you too?"

I cleared my throat and looked at Tony with a small smile.

"Yes, they lived in Forks for a few years, then they divorced and my mom went to Jacksonville. When I was thirteen, they remarried and everything was okay, until three years later."

"What happened?" he asked, his voice filled with a child's curiosity.

"They passed away."

"You were sixteen?"

I nodded my head. He was good at math, especially because I didn't expect him to count my age when my parents died.

"Then what happened?"

I tried to think back of those few first day when my whole world had fallen apart.

It had been so difficult to live without my mom and dad. They were my everything, and suddenly my everything was gone.

"I was put into the care of a foster family until I turned eighteen. Then I lived in a dormitory with two roommates, only... they didn't want me there anymore. So I rented an apartment when I was nineteen, became a nanny and went back to school."

Tony surprised me by remaining quiet.

"You weren't able to make your wildest dreams come true, because you had your worst nightmare become reality."

I scowled deeply, as I tried to keep the pain at bay. Talking about this after such a long time was harder then I would have imagined.

I shrugged without looking at him. At Mr. Cullen.

"They would be very proud of you, Miss Bella, your mom and dad."

"Do you think so?" I asked while I carefully looked up.

He nodded his head. "I don't tell lies."

I glanced sideways, only Tony was gone. He was outside by the playing field. I had been so caught up by _me_ that I hadn't noticed him leaving.

"Oh, Tony..." I mumbled, searching with my eyes to see if he was okay.

"Don't worry, Miss Bella. I've got an eye on him." _Stop calling me Miss Bella. It's strange._

"Yes, alright, of course."

I felt a little shaken. It was rather difficult, such a talk like that.

"Forgive me; I wasn't sure whether to answer him truthfully or not. He's only ten after all."

Mr. Cullen shrugged. "Death is part of life, no?"

"I guess that's true..."

"I'm only sorry that it had to visit you so early in your life."

I shrugged.

"I never realized how lucky I really am. I have both my parents and none of my family members or friends ever died. How did they die, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I do."

"I'm sorry?"

I glanced back at Tony, and then slowly looked at Mr. Cullen. "I do mind you asking."

Mr. Cullen smiled a little to my surprise and nodded. "Perhaps another day."

"Something happened," Mr. Cullen said. "And I don't know when, and I'm not sure if I want to believe it, but it did happen."

"What?" I asked with a scowl.

"My kids fell in love with their nanny."

I opened my mouth at the greatest compliment I had ever received but quickly shook my head. "That can't be true."

Mr. Cullen leaned against his chair and watched me with a smile. "What's wrong with you, Miss Swan?"

"What?" I gasped.

He shrugged and said, "You seem like you're from another planet. Or another time. I didn't know woman like you existed."

Nobody had ever really called me a woman. But what confused me more... "What do you mean, woman like _me_?"

"Well, look at you," he said while pointing at me. "You're so worried all the time, and you second guess so many things. I understand your suffering from the past. But don't you think it's time to also enjoy life? Isn't that what your parents would have wanted from you?"

"You don't know anything about them," I snapped and angrily stood up. "I did visit a shrink once, you know? She was kind at the beginning, until the moment she literally told me that it didn't seem like _there's really much going on here_! She told me the death of my parents is nothing. And you're just as bad as she is."

I turned to leave, but snapped my head back, only to see that he wasn't at all in shock. Or angry. He was looking at me with carefulness.

"It's not like a light switch. I can't put my feelings on and off. I can't force myself to _enjoy life_. It's not something I can just _do_. But I do try, Mr. Cullen, don't you worry about that. If I didn't, then I'm not sure I'd be standing here right now."

"I'm sorry," he quickly said, standing up and stepping toward me. "I truly don't know what you're feeling. The closest I've ever come to losing somebody I loved, was yesterday, with April." He smiled. "And I'm not blaming you for that, not anymore. You've suffered enough from the prospect of doing that damage to April. On top of that, you don't need Tanya's and my blaming."

I bit my lip nervously, as the anger got replaced with something else. I just didn't know what that was.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't know why I got so angry. I shouldn't have. I don't get angry often."

Mr. Cullen shook his head with a smile. "Don't worry, Miss Bella. There's no need. So it's still early to visit April, but we can head to the park and talk about your job."

"Sure," I muttered.

He still wanted me? After that horrible outburst?

Silently we left the restaurant and Tony was already running to us as he saw us reaching him.

"Where exactly?" I asked Mr. Cullen as we crossed the street.

"There's a park here around the corner," he said while pointing.

"Yes, I know," I said, glancing at Tony, who had his eyes on the ground.

Tony once told me he hated that park. He preferred the small farm that was a mile away from here, so instead I walked on as we passed that park.

"Miss Swan?" Mr. Cullen asked.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around.

He stood at the corner and Tony had taken a few steps in my direction.

"It's over there," he said while pointing.

"Yes, I know, but I thought we could go to the Henri farm instead."

Mr. Cullen had no clue what I was talking about.

Instead of explaining, I just quickly waved my hand toward myself, telling him to just follow and when he slowly did, Tony was quick at walking a few steps ahead of us.

"What am I missing?" Mr. Cullen asked suspiciously.

I sighed. "Tony hates that park. So I brought him and April to this farm we're going to now. And he loved it. He said..."

"What?" Mr. Cullen insisted.

"He said he's scared of you sometimes," I said softly. "I told him he doesn't need to be and that he could tell anything to his father, but then he said..."

"What?" Mr. Cullen asked again, in slight disbelief.

I scowled a little. "He said that you said that... he shouldn't bother you so much with annoying information and that he should be glad that you're taking him anywhere at all."

Mr. Cullen remained quiet. And I felt extremely guilty.

"After that I told him you didn't mean it. Tony said that you told him so you did mean it, but I told him that sometimes people say offending things without meaning it. Only Tony didn't believe me. I tried explaining him, only by that time, we had reached the farm and he was running to the goats. One of the goats began chasing him and that freaked him out. It took me one hour, a flying chicken and two ice creams to stop his crying."

_Sush, Bella. Just sush._

I was talking way too much, but then again, I was very nervous about making a good impression for Mr. Cullen. However, I was failing badly. Did I need to mention the flying chicken?

"Thank you," Mr. Cullen said. "For telling him what you did. I did tell him that, but it was after one of those fights with Tanya."

I nodded a little. "It's okay."

"No, not really," he said.

"Because he didn't believe me, doesn't mean he won't believe you. You just need to tell him that. Tell him that he can say anything to you. He's a very honest child. And he'll believe you more quickly then me. He just needs to hear the words come from your mouth, not mine."

He sighed. "Yeah, with his autism," Mr. Cullen mumbled.

"It's his character," I said. "He's extremely smart, and kind, and sometimes more quiet then other kids. Just because a few doctors labelled him with autism, doesn't mean he needs to carry that name with him for the rest of his life. When I asked him what he thought of it, he said that he didn't like it when people told him he has autism because he believes he doesn't have it."

"It's one of the symptoms, to say you don't have autism."

In reply I shrugged.

"You can't deny he's - not just a little - but much more different then normal kids."

I stopped and Mr. Cullen turned to me with a scowl.

"What's wrong?"

"Those normal kids threatened him with death and scared him for maybe the rest of his life. If that is normal, then I'd rather be not normal."

Mr. Cullen looked at me pointedly, and then said slowly, "You're not normal. I already established that when I drove you home last night."

I widened my eyes.

"Didn't mean that as an insult," he said with a soft, minor smile.

When I noticed Tony a far distance away from us, I quickly followed him.

"Miss Swan, what do you say of becoming our full time nanny?"

"Oh... You mean twenty hours a week?"

"No. I meant full time. Live, sleep and eat with us. That kind of full time."

Involuntarily I stopped again. "Sorry?"

Mr. Cullen pushed me by lightly putting his arm around my waist.

"Tony goes to you instead of us whenever something happens at his school. He has already proved us this twice. Agreed?" I had to nod. "April will need to stay home with us for a while until she's healed completely and you know it and I know it that she'd rather have you around her then her mother or father."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's not your doing, it's Tanya's and mine. How can they bond with us when they have you?"

But I was only Bella. I gave them attention. If I stopped doing that and gave Mr. and Mrs. Cullen some space, maybe Tony and April would bond with them instead.

"If you stay with us, they'll have what they want. Your wage will be 50 dollars, which seems fair to me."

"Huh? Per week."

I said it in a statement. And he laughed.

"No, not per week. Per day."

"What?" I asked in shock. "That can't be."

"Why not?"

"It's too much. It's..."

_350 dollars per week. 1400 dollars a month._

Was he _crazy_?

"I'm not expecting you to give up on your apartment or your study. You're going to need to pay for those as well."

If he truly wanted to give me that, I could finally pay off my debt. It had reached such a high number; I was too scared to say the word out loud.

I was biting so hard in my lip, it burst open and I tasted my own blood.

_Crap._

"We'll try it? No strings attached. Stay with us for a month and then decide of it works out for you."

"A month?"

"Of course. I can have the contract made and make it official."

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I... You want to allow me to stay with April and Tony for 24/7?"

Just to be sure. I needed to know if he and I had the same thoughts.

He simply replied with;

"Of course."

"I don't know... I don't... understand... Only yesterday... It was only yesterday when I hit your child with my car."

I forced the words out because I had to. Didn't he see that I wasn't the greatest nanny? Yet he wanted me around for nearly all the time.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "We can sit down for a moment."

I nodded my head quickly, and then shook it, with my eyes fixated on Tony. "I'm fine, yes, and no, we don't need to sit. I'm fine."

"If you hate the idea, you can say no. You've lived alone for long and it will be different to have so many people around you all of a sudden."

"Yes..."

"But not bad."

I looked up and he smiled.

"Besides, we need a nanny for when nobody's home. We can't leave Tony and April alone. We need somebody to keep an eye on them."

"Yes, they are young," I said. "They shouldn't be left alone, like yesterday."

"Yesterday?" he asked.

"Yes, April was alone when Tony and I reached your home."

"What do you mean? Tanya wasn't there?"

I widened my eyes. "You didn't know?"

Mr. Cullen's eyes shifted. "I called her to ask where she was. She'd gone to get a manicure with her sister and I picked her up and together we rode to the hospital. I thought... April was with you."

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to cause a fight between you and her! I'm sure it was just for a few minutes..."

"Her manicures take hours," he said. "I can't believe this. I can't."

"She was okay," I muttered while biting my lip. "She didn't seem upset and I was planning to go to get an ice cream for them to kill the time."

And then I drove my car against her tiny head.

"Well, as you see," Mr. Cullen said forcefully, "we need somebody that's with them constantly so that my wife can get her damn pedicures."

I wanted to apologize again for causing this fight, only he quickly continued.

Also I didn't correct him on the word pedicure.

"So will you stay with us, to keep an eye on them?"

"I just don't know... if that's _smart_, because they won't bond so well with you guys, if they're constantly with me. Is it really smart to be with them for entire days?"

"It's either that or they stay at home alone, or with a nanny they don't know," he replied bluntly.

I scowled and Mr. Cullen sighed.

"They need somebody to keep an eye on them, Miss Swan. It might as well be a nanny they like. Besides, it won't be only for my, Tanya's, Tony's and April's benefit."

I looked up and saw his piercing eyes looking at me.

"It will be for your benefit as well."

Well, that was unexpected.

"How so?" I asked in confusion.

"I'll be able to keep an eye on you."

"On _me_? What? Why? What do you mean?" I was nearly freaking.

"You're not the only one who needs a nanny."

He smiled. I gaped. "Excuse me?"

"Don't be insulted, please. I don't mean it to insult you. I'm saying that you can't do everything on your own. Whenever you need help, you could ask me. It's the least I could do for all the care you give my children."

I was growing more and more nervous. I wanted to ask somebody if this new way of being a nanny was smart or not. I needed advice, but I couldn't ask anybody.

All I had was Mr. Cullen's word.

"A month, right?" I clarified. "Just to try it out, with not strings attached?"

"Yes."

I glanced in Tony's direction. Just a few more streets and we'd make it to that farm.

It would be great, if I could be with those two children at all times.

But I didn't want to cause trouble between a married couple.

"But you and Mrs. Cullen... I don't want to get in the way."

"I'm flattered, my dear Miss Swan, that your mind has taken that direction, but there's no need. You can't make it worse. Miss Swan, something has you bothered. All I can say is for you to try it, maybe not a month, maybe just a week, or hell, why not just a day or two? Try and then decide. I won't hold anything against you if you say no, and after that, you could still be their nanny, just like before. And I will not try and tempt you with a high salary. The fifty a day will remain, whether you'll stay with us or not."

Something was stopping me from saying yes. It was nagging me, while I knew, strangely, that Mr. Cullen only wanted to hear yes.

"Well, I think I could... try, I mean. For just a little while. Just to try."

"Deal," Mr. Cullen said, holding out his hand.

I took it and shook. His hand was firm and gripped my nearly loose hand tightly.

"Deal," I said softly.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: Not my characters**_

**A/N: **I know it's been a long wait, more then a month. I'm going to try and get back to work again!

Enjoy.

* * *

**Principal**

"Leave me alone!" I screamed.

"Don't be like this!" Mr. Cullen screamed back. "Wait, Bella!"

"Stop following me!"

I had my huge bag hanging over my shoulder and ran to the front door. Mr. Cullen was right behind me and I didn't get a change to open the door as he put his hand on the door knock and leaned against the door with his shoulder.

"Just wait," he said.

I shook my head. "Don't do this to me. Let me go!"

But he didn't gave ame space, but remained leaning against the door.

"Tell me what is so wrong with this?" His eyes were piercing mine, as if the answer lay somewhere in my eyes or on my face.

"I can't," I gasped. "Our deal was with no strings attached. If you truly meant that, Mr. Cullen-"

"Mr. Cullen?" he asked sarcastically, interrupting me. "I told you not to call me that anymore."

"_T__hen_," I continued quickly, "you'll let me go now, please."

He seemed to be pondering about this. I knew he was a man of his word and he wouldn't force me to stay. But there was conflict in his eyes.

"Please," I repeated.

He shook his head and nodded once. "Fine. Just go already, _Miss Swan_."

In shock I stepped back as he quickly opened the door and stood beside it, waiting for me to leave.

"Bye," I whispered and took my steps as fast as I could, but was stopped just as quickly as suddenly Mr. Cullen grabbed me and pulled me back into his chest, though I wasn't facing him, because he had pulled me into him backwards.

"What do you expect of me?" he whispered urgently. "To let you go, just like that? Pretend nothing ever happened?"

"Yes," I said automatically. "I was never here for you. I was here for the children, for Tony and April. I'm their nanny, not..."

_Your mistress._

_Three days ago_

I didn't know what I was doing here, what force possessed me when I told Mr. Cullen I'd be a full time nanny for him.

Then again, here I was still, in his house, brought to the guestroom by Danny.

I had brought my biggest bag with me and had stuffed it with clothes, lotions, toiletries and the one thing I always forgot, but this time hadn't; my phone charger.

Instead of getting all my stuff out of the bag, I left them inside it and only put the bag beside the bed. It was a huge bed in the middle of a big room and I was quite jealous at the sight of this room they called the guest room.

This room was beautiful, decorated almost just the way I would have wanted my room to be decorated.

I was almost in shock. The walls and floor were white, but the ceiling was a lime green and slight yellowish colour, as were the sheets and pillows on the bed. The extremely white floor had a lime green carpet on it at the end of the bed. It looked fluffy. It seemed just as appealing to lie on as was the bed.

On both sides of the bed there was a lamp. The one on the left was above a small closet with three drawers and the one on the right side was on a table with also a vase on it that had three sunflowers in it.

I let my eyes fall on the big closet against the wall on the right side of the room. It was white with three, yet again, lime coloured doors.

There was a gap on the right side of the room so I walked beside the bed and closet until I reached it and walked through the gap to a small hallway. At the end was a door, so I slowly went there and opened the door. I was greeted with darkness, when suddenly three lights automatically went on, blinding me momentarily with their brightness.

_My own bathroom._

I quickly shut the door before I completely lost it.

I wouldn't have minded to come and live here for forever.

However, I was here for the sake of April and Tony, not for me.

So I quickly went down the stairs when I had to stop because Mr. Cullen stood in front of me, also on the stairs.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly said, wanting to walk around him to give him access to go up.

Mr. Cullen scowled. "I didn't see Tony... Did he even show you where to stay?"

I stopped and stared at the stairs below.

"Yes, he did," I answered. "The room is lovely."

"Great," he said. "Where are you going?"

I hadn't actually thought that far, really. I looked up at him. "I just figured you might be downstairs?"

This truly was a mistake. I had no clue of what my job was as a full time nanny. I felt so unsure about the entire thing.

"Yes, I was, but wouldn't you like to rest for a while? It's been a long day."

I shrugged. "No, not really."

"I disagree." He stepped closer to me. "Tony was extremely energetic today."

"No, that's not what I meant! I meant that I wouldn't really like to rest for a while. I don't mind it being a long day."

I was rambling and it sounded so stupid in my own ears.

He watched me strangely. "Of course. Would you mind coming upstairs again, then?"

"No, of course not," I said quickly.

Finally I was told what to do, even though the request was small.

I followed behind him and he walked past the guestroom to another room and opened the door and gestured for me to go inside.

"What's there?" I asked carefully.

He smiled broadly. "Are you afraid?"

How come I only noticed now how charming he looked when he smiled like that.

"No, I am _not _afraid, Mr. Cullen."

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. Then he said, "Please, be my guest." He gestured for me to go inside again.

So I walked toward the entrance and walked inside that room and was shocked by the content of the room.

"Wow..." I muttered.

"Most of them I have not read," he said from behind me softly.

"This is so, truly amazing, Mr. Cullen."

"Of course," he said.

I looked at the hundreds and thousands of books that were stacked everywhere around the room. Some were even on the ground because they probably didn't fit on the shelves.

The room was bigger then the largest library I'd ever been to.

"We don't differ much from our age, do we?" he asked.

I turned to him. "Uh... I don't know. How old did you say you were?"

He told me last night, but I forgot. That's what happened when you were easily distracted.

Mr. Cullen smiled.

"Wait, I remember," I quickly said. "You're twenty-nine."

He laughed and all my certainness vanished.

"Right?" I asked for good measures.

"Yeah, I guess you really do think I look older then twenty-_seven_, Bella."

I watched him, without saying a thing. I couldn't, not anymore. For the first time, with no other word before my name, he called me Bella. And it was strange to hear him say it. But it was even more strange that I liked when he called me Bella.

"I'm six years older. That's nearly nothing. I think it's okay to stop with the _Mister Cullen _and start calling me Edward."

And I felt myself shaking my head as soon as he finished that sentence.

"What?" he asked with a scowl.

"I can't call you... I can't... You're Mr. Cullen."

I quickly turned my back to him and let my eyes roam over the rug of the books. All the titles were unknown to me so I kept on searching until I would find something that sounded not so old or strange.

"I think it's time for you to pull out that stick that's been shoved up so high in your ass it's damaging your brain to function like a normal, happy girl."

For a second, I stood frozen. And then I turned to him. I was quite sure my face was a horrible thing to look at now, but I was too shocked by what he said.

"What did you say?" I asked in a tiny voice.

But there was no time for me to get really angry at him for suggesting such a thing, because suddenly his tall form became even longer as he stood on his toes right before me and I had to press my back against the books behind me so that he wouldn't touch me. I was staring at his chest and slowly he dropped back to his feet and handed me a book which he must have taken from one of the shelves.

However, his scent still lingered around me, and I breathed him in. That scent was one I would never forget.

I dropped my eyes to the book in my hand and read the title.

_Daddy Long-Legs by Jean Webster._

"I never read it, but my mom loves that book. From what she told me what the book is about, I think you'll be able to connect to the character in the book. Unless you hate reading books?"

I shook my head. I couldn't speak.

"I know that you're scared," he said softly. "There's no mom and no dad in your life. You're not certain of your future."

"Stop," I whispered, putting the book on top of a few other books and walking further into the room.

"I know life sucks," he said from close behind me. "And I know life's hard sometimes. But some things are easy. Things like calling me by my first name."

I shook my head.

"Stubborn girl," he said, but I heard in his voice that he was only teasing. "Say my name. Just say it once."

For the first time I glance up at him. And I said it, for the first time.

"Edward."

"See, that wasn't so hard?" he asked with a smile.

It had nothing to do with it being hard or not. It had to do with me being comfortable with calling my boss by his first name.

"No, it is not hard, Mr. Cullen, and maybe there's not so much age different, but there's a status different. People know your name, people you've never met before... They know your name, but I... I'm nobody. I can't call you by your first name, because it wouldn't be right. I'm just your nanny."

I turned around and glanced one more time at the books.

"You can fire me... I never thought this was a great idea anyway." I was looking down at the floor.

It had been a long time since I lived together with other people under one roof.

However, Mr. Cullen didn't get cross. He walked past me and only halted to give me back the book that I had previously put on a stack of other books.

"Please, read the book. Let me know if you like it." He smiled briefly. "We're going to April after an hour. You can stay here, rest in your room or come downstairs. Tony is taking a shower so you needn't be worried about him."

I nodded a little.

"And Miss Swan?" he asked as he neared the door. "I won't fire you that easily."

x

"Hi, April."

Her face broke into a happy smile when she saw me. Mr. Cullen stood behind me and Tony had already run towards his sister's bed.

"Bella! You came."

"Of course I did. Look what your daddy and brother brought you?"

I showed her the bag of candy which I knew she loved.

She opened the bag and stuffed her mouth full and Tony joined her.

"Thanks Tony, thanks daddy! Thanks Bella."

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder, then a whisper in my ear.

"Her daddy and her brother? Who was the one that suggested we buy April something and who was the one that suggested that specific bag? You little liar."

I turned to him with wide eyes to say that I wasn't a liar, and that I didn't mean it, but then I saw the smile on his face.

"I'm joking," he said. The hand still on my shoulder squeezed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think I was actually being serious."

"Will you do me one favour, Mr. Cullen?" I asked.

"What is it, Miss Swan?" he asked kindly.

"If... When I make a mistake, someday, somewhere in the future, and you're angry, will you just let me know? I can't see it coming anymore... I mean... I keep thinking that I'm doing something wrong."

He shook me a little with that hand still on my shoulder. "Only if you do me my favour back in return and call me Edward."

I tensed even more and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry, _I'm sorry_. I meant that as a joke. Forgive me, I am being horrible to you Bella."

He let go of me and walked around and bended a little when he stood in front of me.

"If I'm angry, someday, somewhere in the future, I will let you know, I promise."

He said if. I said when.

I nodded. "Thanks, Mr. Cullen."

"It's quite alright."

I went to sit next to April.

"Eat one too," she said enthusiastically and shoved one very sour candy in my mouth.

"Thanks," I said while trying not to make a face.

"What the hell is she doing here, Edward?"

I flinched as for a moment, I had forgotten that Mr. Cullen also had a wife.

"Well?" she asked.

"I'll leave," I said, trying to chew the sour candy as quickly as I could, so that I could swallow it down.

I stood up and took the first step. Mr. Cullen stretched out his arm and I had to stop, for he was blocking my path.

"She's our nanny, Tanya. I've hired her to come and live with us. We need a nanny around."

She raised an eyebrow. "You," she pointed at me, "and you," she pointed at Mr. Cullen, "follow me."

Reluctantly I followed behind them and when we were out of hearing sight of the children, Mrs. Cullen began to shriek.

"What on earth do you think you are doing, Edward? What is she even doing here, showing her face after what she did to April and Tony?"

He only stared at her.

"This is because I didn't have sex with you last night, isn't it?"

She raised an eyebrow expectantly, while he only kept staring, but I... blushed.

"What the _hell_?" she yelled, her eyes suddenly on me. She must have seen my blush. "Did you do her instead?"

And suddenly, I flew backwards and fell on the floor.

"That's for thinking you can take my husband from me, you filthy whore!"

I turned my head and looked at her as I saw the fury in her eyes. It absolutely hurt to be called a whore, while I was quite the opposite.

"Tanya, get out of here," Mr. Cullen said with anger and disbelief in his voice. "If you don't, I'll call security on you."

Two strong hands were suddenly helping me up and when I looked up, I saw his green eyes.

He seemed so apologetic.

"I am so very much sorry," he said quietly. "I can't believe she pushed you. Don't worry about her anymore, she left as soon as I said the word security."

"I shouldn't have agreed," I said when I finally stood and the pain in my hand left. Most of the blow had been on my hand. "You should try and work things out with your wife." I nodded a little to myself.

But he stopped me.

"Listen, Bella. I cannot imagine how it must feel to be you. I see the pain in your eye, the loss of something more then the loss of your parents. And I have found this little, tiny thing that can make you smile." He gave a sad smile. "My children were not the only one that fell in love, because you fell in love with them too. And I know you think my marriage matters more then your happiness, but I can tell you with entire certainty that my marriage was doomed long time before you entered our life. Don't feel guilty for something that is not even your fault. Can you please promise that for me?"

He sounded so sincere. And it ached when he said that the kids had fallen in love with me.

"Okay... Alright. I'll try. I can only try."

He smiled. "Are you hurt anywhere? Your hand?"

I hadn't realized I was rubbing my pulse with my fingers.

"I'm fine."

He pressed his cold fingers on my pulse and hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, thanks," I said, pulling my hand back to myself. "I'll go and say goodbye to April. You're right, it's been a long day. I could use some sleep."

"Of course," he replied. "I really am sorry. Tanya has never done something like that."

"It's okay, Mr. Cullen," I whispered. "It was nothing, really. I'm not hurt physically."

However, she did manage to wound my feelings.

I turned back and went to the children and hated to say goodbye to April, because I knew she wanted me around. But she told me that tomorrow afternoon she could probably come back home.

As I turned to leave the hospital, I saw Mr. Cullen standing by the door.

"I'll wait outside, you can stay here for as long as you like, okay? Don't hurry because of me. Or should I take the bus?"

Not that there was one bus stop near Mr. Cullen's house.

He smiled. "Wait by the car. Tony and I will be there soon."

_Two days ago_

The bed was extremely comfortable to sleep in. Any other normal person would have been able to sleep as soon as they hit this bed, but I couldn't. I kept pondering about so many things, it took me hours to fall asleep, and way too soon, I heard my alarm go off.

As I walked downstairs in my pyjama's, I noticed Tony sitting on the couch, also in his pyjama's, while he was searching the channels on the television.

"Hi, Tony." I glanced at the clock, as it read it was only a few minutes after six. "Ready for school today?"

"No."

I knew what he meant. I wasn't in the mood for school either, but if I didn't go, I'd be a bad example for him.

"What do you eat for breakfast?" I asked him.

"Oatmeal. Are you going to make it?"

"Of course," I told him. He hadn't once taken his eyes of the television. "I love oatmeal."

Only I couldn't remember last time I ate oatmeal.

I stepped into their kitchen and found a pan, the milk and after some struggle the oat.

However, the biggest challenge was to turn on the gas on the stove. I think I'd managed to pull and twist on every button until finally one of them lit on.

While pouring milk in the pan, enough for three people, I quickly ran back to my room and brushed my teeth and put on a pair of socks.

Then I ran back downstairs but when I got there, I knew something wasn't quite right.

"No, no, no," I muttered, running to the stove and twisting on the buttons.

The room smelled like gas. But now I wasn't sure if I'd turn of the right buttons or if I in fact turned them back on.

So I quickly opened two windows and called for Tony to come quickly to me.

"What?" he said as he finally arrived.

"Please get your dad for me," I said desperately. The milk began to cook, but I wasn't able to find the button to turn of that gas. "What is wrong with this thing? Tony, please go find him. I think I broke it."

I took the pan and put it quickly on the counter, then fumbled like a spastic fish with all the buttons that would twist.

"Tell him yourself," Tony said rudely.

"I would if I knew where he is!" I said.

And I was desperate now. I'd go find him myself, so I turned back around to run upstairs, only there he was. I gasped at his sight.

"You scared me."

He wore a black suit. I stared at him with wide eyes. He glanced at the stove and turned a button. The gas went off.

"Thanks," I muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Are _you _okay?" he asked. "You look lost."

"Because I can't do any of this!"

"Look," he said. "It's simple. There is one button and four knobs. Push this button once and turn the knob."

As he demonstrated, there was no fire out of one of the gas rings.

He tried again and again, but it never came.

"This thing is broken," he eventually concluded.

"What? Seriously?" So it wasn't my fault that the room was filled with gas right now. I sighed in relief.

"Do I have to go to school?" Tony asked from behind us.

"Yes," Mr. Cullen answered.

He sighed. "I knew you hate me."

"I _don't _hate you, Tony."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You do, you do!"

With that, Tony ran up the stairs. Mr. Cullen sighed and left the stove. I wasn't sure whether to talk to him or not, so instead I poured some oat in the pan and stirred it. I found three bowls and put the contents of the pan in the bowls. I put three spoons in the filled bowls and decided to walk upstairs again to find Tony, only I saw Mr. Cullen sitting on the couch and staring at the television, without really watching whatever was on it.

I took a few careful steps in his direction, but he didn't acknowledge me, which made me doubt if he noticed me.

"Do you want me gone?" I asked in an unsure voice.

"Why do you ask that?" he asked without looking at me.

"I don't know... maybe it was my fault the stove broke. I did twist everything to get it working."

Mr. Cullen sighed and shook his head. "Listen. If I want you gone, I'll pack your bags myself and put them in front of the front door. Let's say you _did _break the stove... I still wouldn't want you gone for that. Money is not an issue for me."

"Oh."

He chuckled lightly. "And you didn't." I scowled. "Break the stove. It takes more then just a little twisting of the buttons to have it broken."

I nodded. "Then why do you seem upset?"

"It's Tanya," he said carefully. "I do want to divorce her, only I cannot imagine what pain that would give to Tony and April. They could never understand. I do not know if I should really do it."

"I really don't know... what to say... I don't know much about relationships."

The direction of the conversation was making me nervous, making me talk slower then I normally did. Mr. Cullen was watching the television with the nail of his pink finger against his front teeth. I knew that he wasn't truly watching, but he was thinking.

When the silence lasted for a second too long, I nervously continued.

"I'm not much use if you want advice. I haven't got that much experience."

This time he glanced up and watched me up and down. He stood up and walked in my direction.

"What on earth are you wearing?" he asked with a grin.

I stared down at my pyjama that was in fact two sizes to big. But that's not what he meant, I guessed.

I was wearing a blue purplish tank top with a bow on the left strap. My shorts had white and the same blue purplish coloured vertical stripes on them. On each side of the shorts was a bow as well.

And the reason why I had really bought this pyjama was because there was a cartoon sheep on the front of my tank top, wearing a blue pyjama dress and fluffy slippers. The sheep held a hot cop of coffee and wore a big smile on its face. Above the sheep, there was the writing; I NEED A COFFEE.

"I'm sorry," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'll wear something else."

"Why?" he asked.

"It's inappropriate, I suppose."

He brought his eyes up for a moment. "It's not inappropriate. I'd say cute."

And he winked. Slowly he walked past me and I heard him take the bowl. He then returned and gave one of the bowls to me and held one himself.

"You should eat before it gets cold," he said. "Please, sit down."

I decided to sit on a chair that was actually a couch, but meant for only one person. I did this, because Mr. Cullen was starting to freak me out. I felt exposed in these clothes and wasn't sure what exactly he wanted of me.

Mr. Cullen ate quickly while I had trouble swallowing down the sticky breakfast and Tony seemed to have disappeared and forgotten about breakfast.

He stood up, only suddenly he bended and ran his front finger over my knee. I noticed my old scar.

"What happened?" he asked, still touching me.

I quickly got up and grabbed his bowl out of his hand, nearly snatching it, as he had finished.

"It was a fall at the swimming pool when I went down the slide that drops you in the water from quite high."

He scowled. "I don't know that slide."

"It's the one in Phoenix, not here in Forks. So are you going to work?"

I put the bowls in the sink, but there was nothing to wash them with.

"Yes."

I jumped when the sound of his voice came from too close behind me, and quickly stepped aside, to give him his room... and to give me my own room. I looked up at him to see he had his arms crossed.

I looked around the kitchen to see if the cleaning liquid was somewhere close by.

"What do you usually do? First bring the kids to school and then go to work?"

I opened a cabinet and found an completely empty cabinet. I opened two more, to find glasses and cups.

I closed them and turned my back to lean against the wall and look back at Mr. Cullen.

"Something like that," he eventually answered.

"What do you want me to do? I mean, Tony will be at school until three and April is at the hospital."

"That's true. I've spoken to Tanya. She requested you for this day."

"Did someone say my name?" a sweet, kind voice said from behind me.

My eyes instantly widened and I turned quickly to see if Mrs. Cullen was ready to push me again, but instead she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"First things first, I want to apologize for my rude behaviour yesterday. I should have never pushed you."

"I-It's okay." I tried to get out of her hug as soon as possible.

"I mean, I'm the adult, _right_? You're just the kid." She laughed, then pointed at Mr. Cullen. "Your words, Edward. Your words."

_Her _words rang through the great kitchen, ringing in my ears many times.

_"You're just the kid."_

Mr. Cullen muttered something which I did not hear but his wife did.

"Sure, whatever," Mrs. Cullen said.

A phone went off and I realized it was Mrs. Cullen's, because she reached for her pocket and pressed a button.

"Yes?" she asked into the phone. "But why?" After a moment, she scowled. "Is that really necessary?" She shot a glare in my direction, then glanced at Mr. Cullen. "Alright. I'll be there at ten. Bye." And she pressed another button. "That was April's doctor. He recommends to keep her for another night."

"Why?" Mr. Cullen asked.

"She's had a small fever early this morning, but it's gone now. He wants to keep her to know for sure the fever meant nothing."

A fever? Wasn't that serious? I wasn't a doctor and I didn't know much about those kind of things, but on moments like these, it was best to trust the doctor's words. And he did decide to keep her for one more night.

Mr. Cullen walked towards the stairs and halted in front of them.

"Tony?" he called. "Come down and eat your breakfast, it's almost time to leave!"

"No!" Tony called loudly. He was hidden somewhere close by upstairs, because his voice didn't sound like it came from somewhere far.

"Tony!"

"No!"

"Do I seriously have to come up and drag you down?" he threatened.

Tony snickered.

"Let me!" I quickly interfered. I loved Tony, I truly did, and all he needed was a few kind words to convince him that he didn't need to be scared of those bullies.

I ran up the stairs, without looking back at either Mr. or Mrs. Cullen and found Tony running toward the library door.

"Tony, wait, it's me!"

He glanced back and watched me with big eyes. "I don't want to go, Bella! They threatened me."

"I know, I know they did, but-"

"They call me weird because I always ask weird questions."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "_No_. You're not weird and you do not ask weird questions. I love your questions."

He sat down on the ground and seemed almost desperate now.

"I _know_ what you feel."

"You don't." His voice sounded angry and sad at the same time.

"I do. I got death threats too. I didn't have many friends. Actually, I had no friends, because... Because people thought I was weird too. They began bullying me, and when they saw that didn't faze me, they began giving me threats. Do you know what I did in the end?"

"What?"

"I left. And never came back. I changed school and never saw those bullies again. I wish I didn't. I wish I stayed there and faced them to let them know I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't going to let their threats scare me."

Tony shook his head. "They _do_. They scare me. I don't want to go to school anymore."

He stood up and was about to run further into the hall.

"Tony, wait!" I called. "There will _always _be bullies in your life. Not everybody will always like you. But you have to remember the people who do. And I like you. And April likes you. And your dad likes you and your mom likes you. That's four people, Tony."

"But I'm still scared of the rest..." he said brokenly.

_What did those kids do to him?_

"I know that. But the worst thing you could do now is leave them and never come back. You have to get there and show them they're not scary at all, that they don't scare you. My mom would say to me; Chin up, Bella. You... You belong too."

Tony sighed. I knew he was close to giving in.

"Do you like school?"

He nodded.

"Then go to school. Don't think of it as going to the bullies. Go to school."

"Fine."

He slowly walked towards me and walked down the stairs. Then he glanced up.

"Are you coming too?"

I followed him until we reached the first floor. Tony ran to the living room.

"Bella's coming too!"

"That's not what I said!"

"It's alright, Miss Swan, you can join us," Mr. Cullen said.

"Fine," I muttered. I went to look for Tony as he had disappeared again, but he had only run to the kitchen and grabbed the final bowl.

"I have to change my clothes," I told Tony. He only nodded.

I went up the stairs again and pulled up a pair of jeans and threw on a black shirt as I was already warmed up from all the running up and down the stairs.

Then I ran downstairs and saw that Tony still hadn't finished.

"You almost ready? What time do you guys leave?"

"Now." It was Mr. Cullen who answered. He was behind me.

"Oh." The clock read half past eight.

Tony put the bowl on the countertop and went to the front door. I followed him and he grabbed his jacket and put it on. Mr. Cullen held Tony's bag.

I knew Tony hated this. I could read it on his body. His shoulders were bended forward, his head hung low on his head and his eyes were on the ground.

I bended down to whisper to him, "Chin up. At all times."

He looked up at me and I smiled at him.

"You can do this," I said. "I know it."

Tony sighed dramatically.

I opened the door for Tony and wondered if he would like it better if I sat with him in the backseat of the car. Without asking, I sat next to him and his face lit up when he saw me next to him.

"We'll go do something fun after school, okay? Anything you want."

"Anything?" he asked. "Anything, _anything?"_

"Yes... Just don't make the mission impossible."

He nodded. "Do you promise?"

I had never really made a promise before and I had a reason for that. My dad said he never made promises. That way he knew for sure that he didn't break them. The only promise my dad made was the one he made on his wedding day, and even after the divorce, he did not break that promise.

But as Tony wanted me so badly to make this promise, so he would have something to hold unto until his school ended, I couldn't deny him.

"I promise," I said with a firm nod. "So what do you want do after school?"

"I want to eat a soft pretzel."

I laughed. "That could be easily arranged off."

Mr. Cullen had stepped into the car and started it. I wasn't sure how much of it he'd heard, but to be safe, I asked him if it was okay to do something with him after school.

"Of course," he said. "You don't need to ask. You're the nanny now, after all."

It was easy to talk to kid about all the nonsense in the world, and answer questions they forgot as soon as they asked them. There was a certain amount of calmness to it.

The clock read just a few minutes after eight as we pulled over. I saw Tony's school for the first time and was shocked to see how big it really was.

It had been years, but suddenly I realized I once too had gone to this school. Back then it was smaller and it seemed like they had expanded it.

"Please come and wait until my first class begins," Tony said.

"No," Mr. Cullen said.

When I looked at him, I realized he was looking at me, and waiting for _my _answer.

"Your dad needs to go or else he'll be late for work..."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Whatever. See you after school."

"Bye," I called softly as he shut the door and walked around to car to the school building.

When he disappeared, I wondered why Mr. Cullen didn't drive on, and as I was about to ask, he beat me to it.

"Are you going to sit there, alone?" he asked.

"Oh," I murmured. "I hadn't really thought of it."

I got out and shut the door. I took a few breaths of fresh air and opened the front door.

"I don't think you handled that... _nicely_," I said, beginning the confrontation, when I was seated in the car.

Mr. Cullen turned the key to shut of the engine, and I was shocked at that. And suddenly he turned, as if he could give me his full attention that way.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with a genuine scowl.

"Well, he's really scared of those kids, and the way you told him he had to go to school, almost made it sound like you said..."

I shifted my eyes and Mr. Cullen asked, "Like I said what, Miss Swan?"

"Well... Like you said... _I don't care if you're scared_."

The car was silent.

"And just now, when he asked if we could go with him until his first lesson began, instead of saying no, you could also say that you would want to, but can't. He'll think you don't care if you give him such answers."

I abruptly halted and Mr. Cullen turned his head to me with a smile.

"What?" I asked nervously.

He shook his head. "Go on."

"Well, I think it's serious now, and maybe you should go to the principle and tell him that you do not tolerate the behaviour your son has been getting from his classmates... And if something like that happens again and your son comes home and says he feels unsafe _again _in an environment that's meant to make kids feel at home, you'll either pull your kid out of that school, something that won't go without notice by the media and will give the school an awful, awful reputation, _or_ you'll force the principal to exile all the kids that made your son's past couple of days a hell."

Mr. Cullen shifted his eyes to the window beside me and then glanced back at me.

"Well, I shall go and do that then," he said brightly. "Follow me, Miss Swan."

He opened the door and stepped out.

_What just happened?_

I quickly opened the door and Mr. Cullen had reached my side.

"What did you say?" I asked quickly.

But he ignored me. "Tony Cullen!" he called to the small boy that was walking in a snail's pace to the front door of the school.

Tony turned his head and watched us with a scowl, as Mr. Cullen was walking fast toward his son and I tried to keep up with him, for his legs were much longer then mine.

"I thought you had to go to work," Tony said when we got in hearing distance.

"Yes, but there's one thing I need to do first, son," he said. "Your nanny gave me the inspiration."

Tony was looking just as surprised as I was. "What did you do, Bella?"

My eyes were wide as they shifted from Mr. Cullen's back, to Tony.

"I have no idea! But I'm going after him." I pointed at his dad, who was walking way to fast for my liking and had now entered the building. "Mr. Cullen, we should talk this through! Hang on!" I ran through the doors and found him round a corner.

I groaned in frustration and ran as fast as I could, almost bumping against an old lady and a few children.

"Mr. Cullen!" I called.

He was on a good far distance from me.

"Edward Cullen!"

Yeah, that made him stop.

Finally I was able to catch up with him and I quickly stood in front of him so he wouldn't decide to continue walking.

"Look, I think it's great you want to talk to the principle's office, but you should probably say it a little less like I did."

"Why?"

"Because what I did was threatening and I'm not quite sure that's legal."

He grinned. "I have a meeting at ten. When in the car you told me that I could have told Tony _I'd love to wait until school starts, but I can't _I realized that that would be a lie. I _could _have waited, but I didn't want to. Look, Bella, I love Tony, but I'm not always sure what a father is supposed to do. When you basically told me it's my job to help Tony, I knew that that was part of being a father. So thanks." He patted my shoulder and walked right past me.

"You're a great father and a good dad, Edward, and Tony loves you too. He _wants _you to be there for him and stand up for him, he just doesn't know how to tell you that stuff. I mean, he's only ten! But the point is, if you really want a serious conversation with the principal, you should first make an official appointment and not just go to his office with no warning!"

It seemed like this amused him, because he was keeping in his laughter.

He stopped walking again and watched me quite seriously.

"I'm a parliament, Miss Swan. I do not need an appointment to speak with somebody if I want to. I can be quite serious, you know? Just with a few words, I can make Tony's life at this school a lot better and I don't know why it took his nanny for me to realize my influence is bigger then I thought."

Just a few yards away, I saw a closed door with the word _Principal_ on it.

"Just don't say anything you might regret!" I said quickly. "_Or _do anything you might regret."

He smirked. "I never do."

And with the few last steps taken, he burst into the office, but not before he had placed his arm around me and pushed me inside as well.


End file.
